


You're the Bomb

by probablynotadalek



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Disappointment, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-05-16 19:09:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5837539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/probablynotadalek/pseuds/probablynotadalek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a compliment, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're the Bomb

**Author's Note:**

  * For [that_one_kid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/that_one_kid/gifts).



> Sometimes I write fanfic that is made mostly of real dialogue from my real friends. This is one of those times.

“Oh you have got to be kidding,” Clint said. “They forgot me.”

“They didn’t forget you.” Steve placed a hand on Clint’s shoulder. “They just-”

“Put me last. And planned poorly.”

“They planned for 12 statues.”

“And then Pietro came back.” Clint turned to Pietro. “Why couldn’t you just stay dead!” 

“Sorry?”

“That’s right, you’re sorry, you brat.” 

All thirteen Avengers, most of whom were admiring the twelve-foot bronze statues of themselves, turned to the door as it opened. Two people walked in, a woman with short grey hair and a younger woman with a braid that was falling apart. “Oh, you’re here already.” The older one said. “I’m Elliot Green, I’m in charge of the Avengers memorial project.”

“Nice to finally meet you, Mrs. Green.” Steve said. He turned to the other. “And who are you?”

“Tanya,” She said, smiling. “Tanya Fowler. I’m one of the art students who worked on it. I can’t believe you’re actually here.”

“I can’t believe you forgot me.” Clint mumbled.

“What?” Elliot asked. 

“My statue? I’m Hawkeye, I’m an Avenger, I have been since the beginning, which you seem to have forgotten about-”

“We didn’t forget you.”

“Oh, really? Then where’s the twelve foot version of me?”

“Off-site.” Elliot explained. “When Quicksilver returned, we knew the project would run out of money, so we reached out to some other artists in the area. One of them responded, and he asked for Hawkeye specifically.” 

“Oh.” Clint straightened his back and smiled. “He asked for me. Because I’m-”

“Everybody’s favorite Avenger.” Half the group said with him. 

“We know.” Wanda said.

“So do you guys like them?” Tanya said. 

“They’re great.” Nat smiled at her.

“I mean, I really only care about Hope’s opinion, I mostly worked on yours-”

“I love it.”

“The wings don’t look weird, do they? Because I’m pretty sure they look a little-”

“Tanya.” Elliot said. “We open tomorrow.”

“Right. You guys want to help us move these?”

***

It was surprisingly easy to get all of the Avengers moving the morning of the unveiling. They made their way to the memorial as early as they could, to help with final set up and so Steve could do final preparations for his speech (“Yeah, makes sense that Steve should do it.” Tony had said, as if he hadn’t already planned one out). When they arrived, a team of security guards stood in and around the area.

“You’re here!” Tanya yelled as she ran up to them.

“Did you think we were going to miss this?” Pietro said.

“Sort of. I mean, stranger things have happened.” 

Sam gestured to the shack the security guards had set up in the corner of the plaza. “What are they doing here?”

“Oh, yeah.” Tanya paused. “A call came in last night, some idiot threatening a bomb. They said it’s probably nothing, but…”

The group turned to look at Natasha. She sighed. “I’ll make some calls.” She started to walk away. “Bucky.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re with me.”

“Yes.” Bucky fist-bumped the air before turning to Steve. “Sorry, this whole thing is above my pay grade. Clint can help with the speech in my place.” He shoved the archer forward as he ran off after Natasha. 

“What did you just sign me up for?” Clint asked the now-gone Bucky as Steve started talking.

***

“And so today, we do not celebrate the success of the Avengers. We celebrate the citizens of New York, the citizens in Soldova, the ones who have seen the worst in the world and choose to keep-” Steve stopped. “No, that’s all wrong. This is awful.”

“Cap,” Clint sighed. “It’s just as perfect as it was last time. Stop worrying about it.”

“But what about-”

_“Gonna love ya, gonna love ya, like a black wido-”_

Clint pulled out his phone and answered it. “Sorry, Cap. Tony’s good at speeches, go ask him.” He turned away before Steve could answer. “Hey, Nat, got some good news?”

“You’re the bomb.” She said. 

“I know, I’m pretty great aren’t I?”

“No, you’re _the_ bomb.” 

“Wait, I’m the _bomb_? Like the _bomb_ bomb?”

“Yeah, you’re the bomb.”

“God dammit.” He turned to where Steve was talking to Tony. “Guys! I’m the bomb!”

“Yeah, you’re full of yourself, we know.” Tony said.

“No I’m _the_ bomb.” 

“Oh, shit, you’re the bomb?” 

“Avengers!” Steve yelled, and the thirteen were gathered in a moment. 

They sent Scott in through the hole they had used to attach the statue to it’s base. He emerged a moment later. “Yep. Clint’s the bomb-”

“Seriously!”

“And it’s set on a cell phone trigger.”

“Can’t you guys just disarm it or something?”

“Of course.” Scott responded. “Just give me, like, a minute in there.”

Behind him, a cell phone started ringing. He turned slowly back to the statue. “Oh, no.” 

Immediately the team jumped into action. “Everybody get down!” Steve yelled. Tony, Thor, and Sam exchanged glances before Tony called his suit and Sam opened his wings and the three of them grabbed the statue and lifted it, more slowly than they felt safe about, off of the pedestal. The rest of the Avengers got the civilians and security guards under cover while the three took the statue as high up as they could. 

Clint stared up from the ground as they let go of the statute and he was blown into a thousand pieces. 

“Seriously?”

***

A week later, Natasha knocked softly on his door.

“Go away.” Clint responded with his face buried in a pillow.

“The team is meeting down at the memorial.”

He lifted his head up. “I don’t want to go to the stupid memorial, and see all of your stupid statues, and find another stupid chunk of what was supposed to be me.”

“Come on.” She grabbed his arm and pulled him off the bed. “Get dressed.” 

“I don’t want to.”

“Pants, Clint.”

“Fine.”

***

Natasha managed to get Clint to the memorial with only a little (okay, a lot) of whining. The rest of the Avengers were all huddled around his pedestal, which he knew was empty, thank you very-

Sitting in the middle of the marble surface was what looked like a kindergarten art project: a clay man, maybe six inches tall, with a purple body and crooked smile and a bow made of toothpicks. 

“What is that, Play-Dough?”

“Model Magic.” Bruce said. “It should last longer.”

Clint stared at it for a minute. “Thanks, guys.” He said sadly. 

“You're not really upset about the statue, are you?” Sam said. 

“No, it's just- they picked me. Specifically. Of all the things to blow up, why me?” 

Scott placed a hand on his shoulder and shrugged. “Maybe it's a compliment.”


End file.
